How to Leave for College: A Step by Step Guide

1. Say Goodbye

You start by saying goodbye to your boyfriend. He’s leaving before you are, and you miss him before you even leave his driveway. You still text him every day, but it’s a bit strange to think of him in a different time zone. You say goodbye to your best friends next. You go out for coffee and you play board games. Some of them stay the night. You laugh, you cry, and most of all, you tell them thank you. Thank you, again and again. You don’t say what for but they still know. You tell them it will be okay. They say that they know. They tell you that you’re going on the adventure of a lifetime. You say that you know, but really, you aren’t all that sure yet. You stay at another friend’s house way past your regular curfew. Your mom doesn’t care-- she knows how hard it is to say goodbye. 

You say goodbye to your family last. You throw a party. There is cake and mashed potatoes and the end of a soccer game. You chat and laugh and make confessions. You say thank you, again and again. They give you advice, tell you to be safe, and say they’ll see you at Christmas. You cry as they walk out the door. 

You hug each and every one of them. Each friend, every family member. And you tell yourself that you’re going to remember those hugs. When you wrap yourself in that blue and yellow quilt at midnight the night before you get on the plane, you remember each and every hug and you cry some more. 

2. Pack Your Suitcases

That blue and yellow quilt goes into one of your suitcases. A few other items of note: a turtle drawing, a book your friend convinced you to buy, a bracelet from your amigo, and a small painting from one of your friends. None of these things are on the packing list. They are going into your suitcase no matter what. 

You tell yourself that you’re going to pack your entire life into a checked bag, a carry-on, and a backpack in two days. You laugh because you know this will never happen. But you try anyway. After five and a half hours of the Hamilton playlist on repeat, you’ve washed every single item of clothing that you own, and the suitcases are beginning to fill up. You give up for the day. Over the next four days, you continue to cross the necessary items off your packing list. You feel accomplished. 

This is when you remember that your checked bag is only allowed to be fifty pounds. You sigh at the shirts and rolled-up skirts and textbooks. You zip up the suitcase and haul it to the bathroom and weigh the cursed thing on the scale. This is the moment of truth. It is… too heavy. You haul it out of the bathroom. You move textbooks back and forth and regret not buying the online version. You weigh the suitcase again. It is forty-eight pounds. You are triumphant. Until, of course, your mother reminds you that there are more things coming in the mail, and they are liquids that must go in your checked bag. 

When it’s all said and done, your bag weighs fifty-three pounds. You ask your dad what the fine is for an overweight bag. You will pay almost anything to not have to repack your suitcases again. It’s been five days and you are sick and tired of packing. He tells you it’s one hundred dollars. You sigh and start to unzip your suitcase. But, he tells you, a second checked bag is only forty dollars. You jump for joy and pull the bulkiest items out of your first bag, transferring them to the second. Now you have two checked bags and the heaviest one is forty-six pounds. You’ve won. 

3. Your Last Day

You go to church on your last day. They pray for you, and you cry. You go to the sculpture garden in Minneapolis on your last day. You get tacos with your family and you give your siblings extra hugs on your last day. Ever since senior year began, you’ve been counting your lasts. Last class, last dance, last trap meet. Today, everything is a last. It’s the last time you drive your car. The last time you eat breakfast at the dining room table. The last time you know you’re going to feel at home for a while.

You have to remind yourself that you’re going to come back. That you will not be disappearing off the face of the Earth for one hundred and twelve days, and that you will still be able to talk to your friends and your family. But everything feels so final. You have to remind yourself that every beginning starts with the end of something else. And, you don’t want to be over-dramatic, but this feels like the end of everything. It is, in a way. 

4. You Get on A Plane, Alone

Nobody wants to say it. So you say it first. Goodbye, I love you. They say they're proud of you. All of you cry. You hug them, you say I love you, and you hug them again. You make it through security, and your bags are checked. The walk to your gate is short, and you sit a few seats down from an old couple that looks friendly enough. Now, it's time to wait.

On your layover, something starts to shift. It feels like peace, or maybe it’s just the absence of worry. You’re in New York, alone, on your way out of the country; and you’re not scared. The flights are longer than you remember them being, and in between the ginger ale and the Jesus Revolution, you stare at the map, watching the larger-than-life animation of the plane work its way pixel by pixel across the Atlantic. Somehow, some way, this is right. You knew that it would be. But maybe, between all of the goodbyes and the packing, you started to think that this was too crazy. Too big, and not real enough. 

And then you’ve landed, forty minutes early, according to the pilot. The passengers erupt in applause. You go through immigration, customs, baggage claim, and then you’re out of the airport with all of your suitcases. It doesn’t take long before you’re at the base, playing cards with people you’ve only ever seen in video calls. You unpack. It takes you roughly two hours and you wonder how in the world it took you five days to pack it all. 

As you lay down, the sound of fans whirring, you can only think: This is actually real. And it feels right. 

***

I know that this post did not read like a stereotypical blog post does. That was a creative decision and I hope that you enjoyed it in spite of that. Thank you for taking the time to keep up with my travels. Thank you to everyone who prayed for me yesterday, you have no idea how much I appreciated it. I’ll see you guys again in about two weeks on September 4th! Pictures of my journey are attached at the bottom. 

¡Hasta luego, y'all!

    Maddy <3

Touching Down in Santiago

      

Airport Views

  

Early Mornings at the Base

View from the deck